Baby Diary page 5 - Premature Baby Zachary

This is a typical photo of Zachary. Fast asleep. He is still growing like a weed but still asleep most of the time. I am making the most of this time with him as a tiny baby but it does make you realise that very young babies in the early months do very little. You don't spend much quality interactive time with them since they pretty much do nothing other than sleep, eat and fill their nappies. He still suffers badly with unsettled feeding and colic symptoms. It has been suggested that I try something called Colief which is for babies with a 'transient lactase deficiency'. basically a lactose intolerance. I hate to see him obviously uncomfortable so its worth every penny of the £10 if it works.

How cute is this ! Zachary had to go for his injections so I dressed him up in this really sweet Next baby outfit. The cord is so soft and cuddly and the nurse was really impressed that he had a wee bit more flesh on him than last time. He has this habit of frowning at the world though. Shame is that because he doesn't feel well a lot of the time he seems to have a real grump on him. I don't think he is by nature a grumpy chap its just that his tummy troubles him. He's getting quite a reputation for being a real unhappy baby which is so sad. Some days I must admit that its really hard work looking after a baby who is so unsettled and sick. It takes real patience. Its hard when you are getting such small amounts of sleep yourself and so tough to see this small person really struggling with the world instead of being happy. Good job mummy is there with lost of kisses and cuddles and laughs.

Much as I hate to add a photo of him crying this is what he does most of the time when he is awake so I guess it should feature. I even took him to the docs this week to see if there is anything that can be done. I am physically and emotionally exhausted and thank the lord that I am with my family who help to take the strain. Is there a cure ? There doesn't even seem to be that much research done into infant problems like colic or sickness.

Here we are later on in the same day trying to teach Zachary to be happy with the world. Its really important that he grows up at peace and happy with the world so I try hard not to let him cry without lots of cuddles. I try to show him nice toys and things and get him interested in looking at the world with interest. Sometimes it also helps to distract him from his tummy gripes. Mind you he loves gripe water. You practically get yum yum when you give it to him.

Rare outing so wrapped up warm. Mum knitted this poncho out of snowflake wool and it looks so sweet on him. We went to meet James, Liz & Hope for lunch out then went to Worcester shopping. We were out for about 5 hrs and he spent most of it being pretty unhappy and letting us know it. Gosh shopping is HARD work with a grizzly baby. I practically did supermarket sweep in Mothercare and couldn't get in and out of Boots fast enough. Not doing that again in a hurry. Thank goodness for internet shopping.

This photograph was taken before I managed to get his hat on his head. As you can see he wasn't too happy about the whole affair. Being dressed and messed about with is still not his favourite thing. Besides he was really sick in the night (projectile stomach contents all over me, the floor etc at 3am) so he really isn't a happy bunny today at all. I wish I knew if there was a magic potion or trick to help his tummy. Despite the gripes as you can see I am still a very happy mummy. Deeply in love with my little man!

Liz & Hope came over for the afternoon and we managed to get some cute pics of Zachary sat with Hope. As usual Zachary wasn't particularly happy to pose but bless her Hope decided that if she held his hand it would clearly make him feel lots better. Such a happy gentle soul its clear to see that she will look out for him as much as he will look out for her. Just as soon as he is old enough to throw those bricks back at her that is !

Hope decided she was more interested in the baby than any of her toys. She decided to get up close but ended up with a bit of a wobble so reached out to steady herself and ended up with a handful of Zachary's hair. He doesn't look too worried. Good job he has quite a bit of hair really.

Zachary's favourite place again. Asleep on someone's tummy. Mummy preferably of course but Nain's cuddly fleece will do just as well. He looks lovely and cosy here so I couldn't resist a photograph. He is having another of those days when you just can't put him down for a second without him exploding into hysterical tears. His tummy is hurting him again today and he has terrible wind. It has been suggested that we try a medicated formula milk which is lactose free. SMA LF. I tried it a few days last week for a few feeds and the difference was remarkable.

It is entirely possible that he is suffering from a lactose intolerance. Lactose can be passed through my diet and then through my milk to him. I have tried cutting just about all dairy out of my diet but it didn't really seem to help. I am considering switching him to bottle feeding with the Lactose Free milk. It would be a shame as we both love the breastfeeding but I guess its about what is best for him. The official line is breast milk of course but he is constantly sick and uncomfortable and unhappy. Feed him the SMA LF and he visibly relaxes. It seems to settle better on his tummy and passes through better too. Difficult to know what to do for the best but i am beginning to think that the SM LF would be better for his temperament. He is still growing that isn't the issue. It is the difference between a settled happy soul or a grumpy unhappy one.

My cousin Mary who lives in New Zealand sent a lovely present to Zachary in the post. There was a wooden pull along toy - a NZ Buzzy Bee as well as this gorgeous All Blacks sleepsuit. Its made out of rugby shirt fabric so its really thick and warm and he looks so cute in it. You can see the All Blacks logo on the shoulder. Once again I am amazed at the generosity of some of our loved ones.

This is actually a really hard decision to make. I actually have enjoyed feeding him and know that he loves it. I have been fortunate enough to have been blessed with a fabulous supply of milk and no problems or discomfort associated with breastfeeding at all. I managed to express for a month in hospital and took to actual feeding when he could really well. The point is that I have to do what is best for Zachary. That's what it comes down to. You do what is best for your child not for you ultimately. He feeds and settles so much better on the medicated formula that it is clearly the right thing to do. I don't believe its a lactose intolerance. He was sick as a dog on SOYA milk which has no lactose in it. I think its simply an immature digestive system. A side effect of his premature birth. The SMA LF is expensive but fortunately you can get it on prescription. I will obviously discuss it with my health visitor but I do believe its the best thing.

Mummy treated Zach to this gorgeous designer outfit. He has more clothes than I do! Some of them almost as expensive as my clothes too. Its just so tempting when you see these fab baby outfits. You just can't help yourself. You imagine them in it and then before you know it you are reaching for the bank details. I must admit I do love the 'No Added Sugar' clothes. I am impressed with the quality and adore the striped trousers. Doesn't he look adorable! Ironic really that the t-shirt says 'Enjoy Milk' when he has to have lactose free medicated formula now because he can't stomach the real stuff. Bless him. He is so much happier already within a week of switching to bottle feeding him the SMA LF. He isn't sick as much, feeds better, suffers stomach gripes a lot less and settles much better between feeds. I definitely made the right decision.