While Zachary and I were in hospital in December the family had to very quickly try and prepare space for us to come back to. The idea of going back to Bangor straight away didn't ever cross my mind partly because for a while we were still under the medical care of the special Neonatal Home support team (outreach team) after that because I wanted us to be around family. As time went on it became clear that we would both be better off staying in Malvern near family certainly for the short term but of course this posed the question of where we would live. Since Mum & Dad's once upon a time had space for them plus two kids there should be room now for one of those kids plus a wee one. So here we are.

We have moved back into my old bedroom. Of course in those days there were rainbows, butterflies and castles painted on the wall. Since then it has been an office, a training room and a gymn. During December grandpa painted the green walls magnolia and Dad went to Ikea for some baby furniture. So here we are and very cosy it is too. As you can see from this first photograph we have made a nice little nest for ourselves.

This is Zachary's moses basket. It belonged to a very dear friend of mine in fact my oldest friend. I have known Fiona since we met on a campsite age 8. Almost 30 years ago. Her baby boy who is now much much bigger slept in this basket and all these years she has kept it in the hope of another baby being able to make use of it. I am really pleased to be able to tell Zachary how nice it was that this gift was given to us for him to sleep away those early weeks or months in. Being tiny he got lots of use out of it. He slept in it for almost 5 months.

Furniture & Clothes

In December the end bedroom which was my bedroom once upon a time had no furniture in it that we could use to store Zachary's clothes, books, toys etc. I had intended to make a trip to IKea with Mum & Dad to pick some nursery furniture etc but clearly that didn't happen. Instead we all sat in hospital one day with the catalogue and picked some things which Dad then went up and collected. Dad say's the furniture was really easy to put together and its absolutely lovely. Real wood so looks and feels really nice. It is a proper baby wardrobe with a tiny rail for baby clothes and shelves too. We also picked a changing station with drawers that you can take the changing shelf off later on and use just as a set of drawers.

It might seem a shame at the moment that he does not really have a nursery room but there will be plenty of time for Zachary to have his own room decorated for now we are still sorting out what will go where and getting organised. All this was on my list of things to accomplish in the last months of my pregnancy

Nesting

One of the things that they talk about in the Bliss handbook - coping with having a Prematurebaby are the feelings associated with loosing those last weeks etc. For most pregnant women it is in these last months that the nesting instinct and final preparations take place as well as simply settling into being hugely pregnant and having started to perhaps give up work and slow down at last start to relax and enjoy being pregnant. All this is taken away when you give birth early. All the things I had planned to do. People I had intended to go and see and spend time with knowing that the next 6 months or so I would be very busy, time to spend with family just me on my own before my life becomes me plus one. All that never happened. My Christmas plans, nesting plans, packing my hospital bag etc. I simply didn't get to do or have time to do any of those things on my list. My sister in law packed my hospital bag and it was wonderful but it feels very strange not having been able to do those things for yourself. You feel very unprepared, abandoned with baby and not feeling ready mixed in with the shock, the worry and everything else all these things on top of being there in hospital with a baby in a hamster box. I was very lucky to know that at home Mum and Dad were trying hard to make space for us and make it look and feel really warm and homely.

Mum hung up all his clothes but told me she knew I would come home and reorganise. Bless ... she was absolutely right. I did.

I bought Zachary's cot from Mothercare online and it is beautiful. Real antique pine. Very sturdy and made so that it can be converted into a toddler bed later on.

Zachary has lots of books already. He has fewer toys than he has books. Being on a strict budget I can not see the point in me spending lots of money on toys that he will grow out of very quickly. I think the Toy Library is the best thing for toys. Books is a different matter. Books will always be there and can be read and re-read again and again. I am sure he will end up being a book freak like me. In fact the whole family are book mad so he is in good company.