My feet are killing me ! Apparently as your spine and hips re-align to cope with the extra weight up front your arches fall causing aches in your feet. That coupled with the swelling in the feet, ankles, calves etc is not a great recipe for happy feet. So with feet and comfort in mind I bit the bullet and went shopping for sensible shoes. I realised that I don't actually own that many flat pairs of shoes apart from flip flops which I usually live in. I ended up in Clarks where after I had eliminated all the granny shoes and shoes that made me look like I had entered a time warp or become a Quaker I did find some nice flat shoes and eventually invested in two pairs. The best were these comfy really soft leather shoes called 'Jordy'. I bought the cream colour and invested in some stick in arch supports. They feel like I am wearing slippers or moccasins. My feet are screaming 'I love you' at me even if my wallet isn't.

Everyone says I look huge so I figured it was time for another photo call. Although I look big sideways on apparently I have what they call around here a nice 'tidy' bump. In other words its all up front. I haven't actually gained that much around the back or sides. Bless my tidy baby ! I must admit I feel fab. Really healthy and happy if a tiny bit pale. I can feel baby 'Genghis' move around a lot more now. Before I only got the occasional flutters now when he is awake I can feel him moving about inside especially if he is being bouncy and touches the sides of his bubble. I feel like I am a living bouncy castle sometimes. A couple of nights ago I woke up sure I had felt the baby's heartbeat then him actually roll over. i almost called my mum in excitement then I realised it was 4:15am and decided to wait until the rest of the world was awake. All these things are the nice parts of being pregnant and knowing you are growing a little person inside you. An amazing miracle of life. It makes all the not so nice stuff like backache, swollen feet, falling arches, stretching pains, toilet breaks at 4am (I have mastered the art of navigating through my room to the bathroom and back again in the dark whilst half asleep) and a desire to ask for a comfy chair or cushions everywhere you go all infinitely worth it.

Proportions of the body are now quite similar to a newborn although thinner since he hasn't begun to form body fat. Bones located in the middle ear harden. The eyes are formed though the iris still lacks pigmentation so no colour just yet. If born now, baby has a 15% chance of survival, his odds going up with each passing day. . Baby is definitely very active: turning and kicking lots ! This is the point at which you start to put on lots of weight and loose all that mobility you are so used to. I am steadily finding I can't bend and crouch like normal which is strange for someone who is normally very agile. Backache is common from here on in too.

Today after a week of niggles, twinges and aches I eventually bowed under pressure and visited the hospital for a quick check up. I can't be the first newly pregnant woman who feels daft at making a fuss but being surrounded by a vast array of symptom info from various books seeks the solace of a visit to an expert to confirm that all is normal and well. The antenatal and midwife team must be used to it and were very nice and helpful. So I drove to the hospital and was instructed to the Labour Ward. The strange thing is that even when I read the sign for delivery suite and was ushered through the double set of locked doors it still didn't sink in exactly where I was. Only when I was actually sitting in delivery room 1 waiting for the doctor amongst all the contraptions of labour, cot in corner, sink etc did it finally sink in.

Not only was I in a delivery room but the girl in the room next to me was actually in Labour. I was fine at first. Two hours later I was not quite so calm. My neighbours screams were louder and I was starting to really think about all this. Reality when it bites, bites hard. It bit me really hard on the bum and it was a hell of a shock. All I remember thinking was my god I haven't read that chapter yet & wasn't ready to either.

I put my cardigan back on, picked up my bag and antenatal notes and would have accomplished a swift undetected exit had I not bumped straight into the doctor (who was on her way to see me) at the door. "I was just leaving" I announced sounding a tiny bit panic stricken. Feeling a hell of a lot panic stricken. Two things happened. Panic started to spread followed by fear. Fear and the pervading thought - 'Oh my god that will be me, this is going to hurt. Its messy and painful & Oh my god I have changed my mind about going through with all this'.

I held it together while the doctor checked me over. Here i am mid reality crisis and my wee man is playing football inside me making it hard to chase down his heart beat although from all the kicks and movement there was no doubt he is alive and very very well. Lets face it when I wrote my list of things to do in the next few years at the start of jan 2005 this was not on the list. Graduating with a great degree - yes, more travelling - yes, having a baby - no ! I was safe in the security of my contraceptive pill and the certain knowledge that I am in no position to get married etc again anytime soon. Safety comes in handy when you have future plans that don't involve many responsibilities. Then fate and life have a funny habit of having plans for you all of their very own. I am of course still very happy about my impending future as a mum and love my bump to bits - it was simply a reality check today that gave me a shock. I guess I should read that chapter in the book on birth !

Safely back at home and a few hugs from some good friends later I felt much better. A trip to KFC (definitely comfort food) and a relaxing bath even later and I am fine. I will eventually conjure up enough courage to actually read the birth chapter of the book I am sure. In a few weeks perhaps.......

My sister in law confided in me that her moment of reality hit when reading a particularly graphic book. My brother had to take it off her and stand back as she cried and cried. My friend told me her moment of reality was having to sit down while shopping one day and seeing a poster about natural childbirth. She cried all the way home. I am pleased to hear that this is simply another milestone in the adventure of pregnancy and I am not completely mad. It's also nice to be reassured that when the time does come there will be all sorts of pain relief on offer and no awards for bravery given out.

My sister in law wrote this to me which was lovely !

"You won't be on your own, there is no shame in deciding to go the whole hog as far as pain relief goes. No one hands out a prize for doing it all yourself with no help!! It doesn't make you a bad person or a potentially terrible mother to say that you are terrified of the pain, or that you wish it could happen or that you have changed your mind and don't want a baby anymore!! Little 'Genghis' will be happily turning cartwheels and back flips safe in the knowledge that you will love him with an intensity and desperation that you won't believe possible regardless of how you might feel today. He is not going to come out and cast you a dirty look for opting for an epidural or for screaming in the throws of labour 'I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND!!' No prizes for martyrs! "